Why I No Longer Believe in the Apocalypse, the Rapture, or the Anti-christ

This is a blog about why I have abandoned my previously held beliefs regarding the Anti-Christ, the rapture, and the end of the world.  I explain it through personal experience, statistics, and scripture.  Buckle up, this blog is a lot longer than most of my blogs (it takes 15 minutes to read, I timed it) and will probably prove quite shocking to some of you.  


My eschatological beliefs were founded long before I ever heard the word eschatology (the study of the "end times").  Like most churched Americans of my generation I was raised with the typical Left Behind-ish teachings that the world was getting worse and worse and that as Jesus predicted, it was going to be totally uninhabitable for true Christians pretty soon.  In fact, Jesus was going to return at any time and rapture the few people who didn't have the mark of the beast and then God would pour out his wrath on the world until it was totally destroyed.  I didn't know it then, but this view of our future is referred to by theologians as the "dispensationalist" view, which is a "futurist" interpretation of the Bible.  


Those beliefs were first shaken my sophomore year of college  in my mandatory Bible class.  Our first assignment was to sit down and read the book of Matthew.  That was it.  Sit down and read the book of Matthew.  Then we had to write a couple paragraphs on what we thought the point of the book was.  Those 2 hours changed my whole life.  Surprisingly, I didn't find that Matthew was about anything I had learned in church.  It wasn't about heaven and hell, it wasn't about going to church, it wasn't about avoiding the mark of the beast, and Jesus never even mentioned the sinner's prayer!  Oddly enough, the book appeared to be about the "Kingdom of God."  I didn't really know what it meant at the time but I knew that I had been missing something really big.  I didn't think to dismiss what I had been taught about the end times, but I figured it just must not have been as important as I once thought.


The last two years I have spent travelling the world trying to be a part of this so-called Kingdom.  I quit my job, sold all my possessions, and started working with random missionaries and pastors in other countries.  I saw literal miracles happen before my eyes, I saw huge groups of people dedicate themselves to God, I saw lives transformed by love, broken people made whole, and I saw God doing really big things all over the world.  My eschatological views were being tested even more and I still hadn't even heard the word.  Later though, I would look back and start to ask some really big questions.  If the world is ending soon are the things that I'm seeing God do around the globe fruitless?  It doesn't seem like everything is getting worse and worse, in fact, it appears to be getting better and better.  Every time I meet someone touched by God, I see them causing this unstoppable domino effect of love, change, and life.  If this keeps up, Jesus is going to have to rapture the whole earth! 


In fact, it wasn't a product of my imagination, let me take a moment to share some shocking statistics with you.


1. The Church is growing at a faster rate than ever before - including the first 500 years when it went from 12 people to the entire Roman empire
2. Over 200,000 people are now becoming born-again Christians every day
3. In 100 years Africa has gone from 9% to 45% Christian
4. In 50 years China has gone from a couple million to over 50 million Christians
5. In the last 2000 years the percent of humanity enslaved has reduced from 16% to 0.4% 
6. Countries among the most impoverished in the world will see acute poverty eradicated within 20 years if they continue at present rates


The remnants of my faith in the Left-Behind theology were destroyed at a missions school in Spain last year.  We started studying the story of the Bible.  (spoiler alert for those who haven't read it) The central  theme of the book is about Jesus.  It starts out with God creating this fantastic world and then suddenly it seems to get ruined by the free will of Adam and Eve.  Right away God promises that he will one day send someone who will redeem everything and bring it back to its original condition.  He picks some people who will eventually produce this character, the anticipation builds, and then finally one day it happens and surprise! It's God himself!  He sets up his Kingdom and plants the seed of redemption.  The end.  Guess what?  God's plan worked.  Jesus was able to defeat the devil, conquer sin,  and rule earth from the right hand of the throne of God.  God never failed and He never will.  He always wins. 


7. "The scepter shall not depart from Judah, nor the ruler's staff from between his feet, until he comes to whom it belongs; and to him shall be the obedience of the nations." Gen 49:1 (Jacob speaking of Jesus)
8.  "I will raise up your offspring after you, who shall come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom forever" 2 Sam 7:12 (God speaking to David)
9.  "And of the increase of His kingdom and peace there will be no end" Isaiah 9:7  (God's prophecy about Jesus)
10.  "I will build my church and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it" Matthew 16:18 (Jesus speaking to Peter)
11. "He raised Him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all." Eph 1:20-23 


To me, this sounds very hopeful.  It sounds like Satan lost and the church/Kingdom of God is victorious.  Jesus crushed Satan, conquered death, established his church, and now sits at the right hand of God ruling the earth!  Pretty good news huh? 


So then why were you taught the bad news that the church is going to fail and Jesus will have to come rescue it from Satan's clutches and destroy the earth?  Well, there are only a few passages that dispensationists use to support their doctrine.  These are prophecies from Daniel 2 and 9, Matthew 24-25, and some chapters of Revelation that, in my opinion, were not interpreted literally enough.  Unfortunately, this is a blog, not a book, and I don't have space to post the specifics of every dispensationalist interpretation error, so let me give you just a few facts about dispensationalism and then I'll explain just one passage (arguably the most relevant one) from Jesus' teachings.


12. Dispensationalism/futurism was invented in 1909 for the Schofield Reference Bible and has only risen to popularity within the last 60 years
13. The fundamental view that the church will rise in victory and power before the return of Jesus (called the partial preterist view - the opposing interpretation to dispensationalism) has been the predominant view for the past 2,000 years; from Augustine to John Calvin and Martin Luther to Charles Spurgeon and George Muller. 
14. "The Anti-christ" is never mentioned in Revelation, or Daniel, or Matthew; only in 1 John (which had the same author as Revelation by the way) and each of the 4 references specifically says that he was alive at the time the book was written.
15. The Rapture is never mentioned in the Bible
16. The "great tribulation" is only mentioned in a couple verses and refers to the destruction of Jerusalem
17. Each time the "end times" or "end of the age" is mentioned in the New Testament it is accompanied by a declaration that the author was currently living in the end times (so maybe they weren't referring to the end of the world but something different...) 
18. When Jesus talked about the end of the age, Jewish persecution, and the destruction of the Temple he clearly stated all this would take place within one generation which is definitively supported by historical events in 70 AD


Most of the theories regarding the great tribulation (and dispensationalism in general) are taken from Matthew 24:1-34:


"Jesus left the temple and was going away, when his disciples came to point out to him the buildings of the temple. But he answered them, “You see all these, do you not? Truly, I say to you, there will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.”  As he sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?” And Jesus answered them, “See that no one leads you astray. For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray. And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.  Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for my name's sake. And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.  So when you see the abomination of desolation spoken of by the prophet Daniel, standing in the holy place (let the reader understand), then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. Let the one who is on the housetop not go down to take what is in his house, and let the one who is in the field not turn back to take his cloak. And alas for women who are pregnant and for those who are nursing infants in those days! Pray that your flight may not be in winter or on a Sabbath. For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, no, and never will be. And if those days had not been cut short, no human being would be saved. But for the sake of the elect those days will be cut short. Then if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect. See, I have told you beforehand. So, if they say to you, ‘Look, he is in the wilderness,’ do not go out. If they say, ‘Look, he is in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. For as the lightning comes from the east and shines as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Wherever the corpse is, there the vultures will gather.  Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. Then will appear in heaven the sign of the Son of Man, and then all the tribes of the land will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. And he will send out his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.  From the fig tree learn its lesson: as soon as its branch becomes tender and puts out its leaves, you know that summer is near. So also, when you see all these things, you know that he is near, at the very gates. Truly, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place. "


What were the disciples asking about when they said, "When will these things take place?"  They were asking about the destruction of the Temple.  Jesus is predicting the destruction of the Temple and actually all of Jerusalem here, which had already been prophesied many times in the Old Testament.  This happened within one generation just as Jesus prophesied.  Within 40 years after Jesus
declared judgment, 20,000 Roman soldiers, under the command of General Titus, surrounded the city and cut off all supplies of food for four months so the people would starve. Then the soldiers came into the city and mercilessly killed more than one million Jews. The soldiers set the Temple on fire and led away 97,000 Jews as captives. At that time the Jewish population was decimated. Historically, little is known about the Jews’ lives for the following 60 years. It was not until A.D. 130-135 that they began reassembling with enough strength to attempt one last rebellion against Rome. Then after three years of battling, the Romans were able to crush that rebellion killing 580,000 Jews, and Israel no more was recognized as a nation (until 1948). It also was at that time that the Roman commander ordered the Temple in Jerusalem to be demolished so completely that each and every stone was carried away and the land upon which the Temple had stood was plowed over completely. The Temple was destroyed totally, as Jesus said it would be.  A detailed description by a non-Christian Jew who was there at the time (Josephus) still exists.  He describes mothers cooking and eating their own children, murders over crumbs of bread, the defilement of the survivors by the Romans, and in general horrific inhumane acts such as the world has not experienced before or since. This interpretation of the passage becomes obvious if we compare this passage with its parallel passage in Luke 21 (Luke was writing to a more gentile audience who wouldn't have had as much knowledge of the scriptural prophecies in the Old Testament)


 And while some were speaking of the temple, how it was adorned with noble stones and offerings, he said, “As for these things that you see, the days will come when there will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.” And they asked him, “Teacher, when will these things be, and what will be the sign when these things are about to take place?” And he said, “See that you are not led astray. For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am he!’ and, ‘The time is at hand!’ Do not go after them. And when you hear of wars and tumults, do not be terrified, for these things must first take place, but the end will not be at once.  Then he said to them, “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.  There will be great earthquakes, and in various places famines and pestilences. And there will be terrors and great signs from heaven.  But before all this they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name's sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness. Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict. You will be delivered up even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and some of you they will put to death. You will be hated by all for my name's sake. But not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your lives. But when you see Jerusalem surrounded by armies, then know that its desolation has come near. Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, and let those who are inside the city depart, and let not those who are out in the country enter it, for these are days of vengeance, to fulfill all that is written. Alas for women who are pregnant and for those who are nursing infants in those days! For there will be great distress upon the earth and wrath against this people. They will fall by the edge of the sword and be led captive among all nations, and Jerusalem will be trampled underfoot by the Gentiles, until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.  And there will be signs in sun and moon and stars, and on the earth distress of nations in perplexity because of the roaring of the sea and the waves, people fainting with fear and with foreboding of what is coming on the world. For the powers of the heavens will be shaken. And then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. Now when these things begin to take place, straighten up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near. And he told them a parable: "Look at the fig tree, and all the trees. As soon as they come out in leaf, you see for yourselves and know that the summer is already near. So also, when you see these things taking place, you know that the kingdom of God is near. Truly, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all has taken place."


One more thing I would like to point out about this passage is that Jesus later said nobody knew when He was coming back, not even the angels, not even himself!  He made this point very clear by sharing 6 parables about how when he returns there will be no signs, like a thief in the night.  So obviously, these signs are not about Jesus' second coming but about the destruction of Jerusalem. 


 In summary, the reasons I switched from dispensationalism to partial preterism are my personal experience of a world growing closer to God, statistical evidence, and a more literal interpretation of eschatological prophecies in the Bible.  I don't expect this blog to completely change your mind, no doubt it raised more questions than it answered, but I do hope that it has sparked some interest and made you question some things. That being said, I still hold the conviction that eschatology is not as important as a lot of American Christians make it out to be.  Jesus, and the Bible in general, just doesn't talk much about it.  There are many things more important than our eschatological convictions, one of which is unity of the body of Christ; however, I believe it is worth bringing up because there is a lot of potential for hope in this area that many people have lost, and hope is the foundation of our faith and the Gospel.  If you would like to pursue the matter further I would highly recommend reading "Victorious Eschatology" by Harold Eberle and Martin Trench who go through each passage of scripture and topic of interest individually. 

My Plans for the Future

Right now I'm all pumped up!  I just got back from a church service at New City.  Church is one of those things that you don't realize how much you miss when it's gone until you come back again.  It's like having access to a giant safe of cash that you can go to whenever you want and take whatever you need.  Plus they have unlimited coffee from Lux in the foyer.  Anyway, I'm not writing this blog about church, I am writing to announce my future plans. 

I am flying to Ohio on Tuesday to welcome my new nephew into the world where I will stay for two weeks.  Then on the 13th of November I am flying back to Phoenix to stay for an undetermined length of time.  What will I be doing in Phoenix?  I plan to sell my house, work a job, get reacquainted with the community, and maybe even do a little bit of medical training as well as serving the homeless in downtown Phoenix.  I love this city and I am excited to extend my visit! 

As with every aspect and nuance of life, it is important to ask yourself "why?"  Why am I staying in Phoenix?  I am staying here to prepare for my next big adventure, whatever that may be; I am staying here to maintain relationships that are very important to me; I am staying here to love other people and look for ways to take part in the big plans that God has for this city. 

So if you live in Arizona hit me up and let's hang out!  And if you know of any job opportunities let me know.  Thanks everyone for reading even when I am doing boring stuff! 

-Brant 

What Did I Learn in India?

“What was the biggest lesson you learned in India? How did you grow the most?” These are questions I have been asked since arriving back in the States after spending half a year working in Kolkata slums with impoverished and destitute out-castes. I suppose I probably grew more and learned more about myself than I will ever know, but to me these questions appear to miss the point. I didn’t go to India to learn a lesson and I didn’t go to grow in my faith. I went to India to help those less fortunate than myself.

I went to Kolkata because a lot of poor people live in Kolkata. Though I was hoping, of course, that Kolkata would be the next step in my life and faith and bring greater intimacy with God, that wasn’t really the goal; the goal was to look after some sick people and visit some lonely people, to be the hands and feet of Jesus in a land that could use some extra hands and feet. These questions seemed to be taking the emphasis off of them and placing it on me. Though it felt a little annoying at first, responding to the question, “How did you grow?” actually helped me process my experiences and in doing so I have realized once again the beauty of the G42 phrase “both and”. Yes I went to India to love Indians, but I also went to seek the heart of God. In the Kingdom these are not mutually exclusive but entirely inseparable. The point was to love others and the point was to learn and grow; and yes, I did learn incredibly valuable lessons. Not the least of which was this one.

DHMH 2014: Yellowstone

Hundreds of miles from the nearest civilization stand four naked men.  Behind them rises an epic eleven thousand foot mountain and in front stretches a crystal clear lake surrounded by tall alpine trees.  Overhead is a picturesque unadulterated blue sky dotted with a few white clouds and at their bare feet a small pool of steaming water bubbles.  The long haired man looks at his watch and exclaims, “it’s about to blow!”  Suddenly the geyser erupts, expulsing huge jets of boiling water high into the air while the men jump up and down at its base yelling at the top of their lungs.  Welcome to the sixth and a half annual Dan Hoffman Memorial Hike of Yellowstone National Park. 

I had travelled for a couple weeks from India to be there, but preparation for this moment began eight months earlier when I was making decisions about when and how long I was going to stay in India. Everything must be planned around the DHMH.  Almost every year somebody has to do something as drastic as quitting a job or leaving a country in order to make it.  Waking up in the bed of Ryan’s truck after our late arrival into camp the previous night and hearing the laughter of my best friends as they sipped steaming coffee in the cold morning air made it all worth it. 

“That means you cannot be on each other’s campsites. Not to sleep and not even for dinner.” sneered the old lady in the backcountry permit office as she started the cheesiest bear-awareness video ever created.  I exchanged looks with Dan.  As usual, many rules would be broken on the DHMH.  Sometimes I think if park rangers had their way visitors wouldn’t even be allowed in the park. 

I pried off my boots and peeled away the sticky socks underneath before I even sat down.  A refreshing breeze cooled my blistered toes as I dropped my heavy pack and slid into the sand, pushing them through the pebbles.  It was well into the first day and after seven miles of hiking we had finally reached Heart Lake, an oasis as still as a photograph and teeming with trout.  It didn’t take long for me to drift off to sleep in the afternoon sun as I waited for the others to catch up.  This is the life. 

I shielded my sunburned eyes as I scanned the distant horizon.  Thirty miles to the south towered the Grand Teton mountain range, the only thing I could see that appeared higher than me.  It was the second day and I was standing on the peak of Mt Sheridan, gasping in the thin air and perspiring from the challenging climb but triumphant in my accomplishment.  Only one of us ended up with serious altitude sickness and surprisingly, despite everything India had thrown at me, it wasn’t me.  I watched a hawk soar down below along the cliffs above the snow fields and felt that he should be envious of my freedom. 

A bright white skull lay just under the surface, grinning up at me eerily.  It was surrounded by hundreds of other animal bones at the bottom of the geyser.  The water was a tropical blue and as clear as glass.  White and yellow mineral deposits contrasted sharply around its edge and a thick stream of vapors and steam drifted up from its smooth surface.  I dipped my pinky finger quickly and jerked it back out even faster.  So hot.  My little off-trail excursion had paid off; there are only a few places on the planet where these exist and here I had one all to myself.  Off in the distance I saw some more steam; one of these geysers was about to blow!

Standing naked at the edge of a geyser as it erupts and looking up at the vast quantity of boiling water coming right for you is a unique experience not soon forgotten.  It’s this kind of adventure that makes campfire instant meals the most delicious and nourishing delight ever tasted.  It’s these types of experiences that cement friendships and produce deep, life-changing conversations.  It’s these moments and relationships that money can’t buy that keep us coming year after year regardless of lower priorities.  The sixth and a half annual Dan Hoffman Memorial Hike of Yellowstone National Park: another epic success.  

Back in the States...Again

I walked across the padded carpet to the passport control queue where a rude overweight woman with a name tag was impatiently instructing passengers. Facing out past the cleanly divided lines was a big-screen TV playing a live American Football game and overhead a giant red, white and blue flag hung vertically. The officer looked at my immigration card. In the space for countries visited was my long list of tiny words, “Norway, England, France, Spain, Morocco, Gibraltar, Switzerland, India, Thailand, Hong Kong.” “How long have you been gone?” he asked in American English. “Nine months” I said. “And you went to all these countries? Wow. Well welcome back.” I took my stamped passport, stepped across the line, and I was home.

A couple of hours later I stood on the side of a highway strumming a banjo. I had repaired flip-flops, Indian baggy pants, and a blue tank on. My hair was a matted mess and my eyes were bloodshot from the jet lag. On the drive from the airport my friend’s car had had a flat tire and now we were waiting for a random guy who had stopped to help to get back with a tire-iron. A vehicle slowed down to ask if we were ok but the two old ladies seemed hesitant to even roll down their window once they caught sight of me. I gave them an Indian head bob without thinking. The US is an odd place. It feels vacant, like just a few rich people have a whole giant country all to themselves. Nobody walks on the sidewalks, nobody sells anything on the streets, and apparently nobody drives on the highways. Two hours in and I already felt lonely and directionless. At least I have enough experience with reverse culture shock to identify its effects, though I still feel powerless to avoid them.

It helps me to read my journal entries from the last time I came back to the States after a year abroad. I found this poem that I had written on my flight to JFK after the World Race.

Confused and sweaty I exited the airliner
My hat was sinking over my eyes but my hands were too full to fix it
Where had I just been?
Maybe an easier question is where haven't I been?
I felt a cold trying to make its way down my esophagus
Like I needed a hot tea
Or ice cream
Or emergen-C
What does the word "denial" even mean?
Psychologically speaking that is
Can one deny the fact that he is in denial?
Why do I feel like that guy in Office Space,
Who made a million dollars
Because he got destroyed by oncoming traffic
My backpack was digging into my shoulders
So I took it off
I just slipped my arms out and laid it on the floor
I could walk away from it if I wanted
But my laptop is in there
And my earbuds
And my wallet
It's not that I don't want to be home
It's not that I don't want the trip to be over
I just don't understand who I have become
Not just yet
I muddled up my vision and put on boots one size too big
And now I don't have a choice but to run this way
To exit the airplane
To go through customs
Sure that I have something to declare
But not quite sure exactly what it is


Thank you everyone who supported me and read my blogs while I was in India! I do not have a definite plan for the next stage of life but will update everyone when it comes. The next couple weeks I plan to be in OH, TN, KS, Denver, and AZ so send me a message if you want to catch up.

-Brant

I Celebrate Life

Today I turn 28

It’s my birthday and I celebrate

But not the fact that I’ve survived to this date

For making my death day a little more late

And not the fact that I was born on this day

As if sun and moon and stars arrayed

Somehow created my life in some way

I celebrate life

I celebrate me

I celebrate this gift from God to be

The fortune to breathe and move and see

To follow opportunity

To cry and laugh, to doubt and believe

To give away and humbly receive

I celebrate life

My time on earth

My open identity that began with my birth

The possibilities for laughter and smiles and mirth

The relationships of unparalleled worth

I celebrate life

The opposite of death

The air that fills my lungs with breath

The sun, the dirt, my sense of touch

The smell of pancakes made for lunch

The way I feel after a run

Or when work’s done and I have come

With someone fun whose hair’s undone

To sit and watch the setting sun

Today I turn 28

Today’s it's life I celebrate

I smile forgetting pain, struggles, and strife

But in reality days like this are rife

For life is a celebration of life

Missionaries of Charity Volunteer FAQ

Thinking about volunteering with Mother Teresa's organization?  I have now been in Kolkata, India for 5 months volunteering with the Missionaries of Charity.  I remember when I was thinking about coming I tried to do some preliminary planning and research online but couldn’t find much information.  So here is a list of 20 questions I would have liked to ask someone who had been here before I came.  If you are thinking about coming and have any additional questions please feel free to leave a comment or send me an email at Brantliveson@gmail.com.

Q       How much money do you spend?

A        I’ve averaged around $7 a day not including flights.  See the illustration for more details.

Q       What kind of things do you do with the MC?

A        I take care of elderly, diseased, crippled, and dying people in Nirmal Hriday (Kalighat) and Prem Dan.  My duties included dishes, laundry, helping them use the toilet, bathing, feeding, transporting, shaving, massaging, and just sitting and listening to them.  There are many different houses though including orphanages and dispensaries.  You can also work with the MC brothers once a week helping street children and a leper colony.

Q       What has been your favorite part?

A        Getting to know the patients, MC sisters, and other volunteers.

Q       What has been your least favorite part?

A        Watery diarrhea.  And the heat is truly oppressive.

Q      What was the spiciest food you have eaten?

A        I've gotten used to the spice.  But eating a chili just straight; yeah, I've cried. 

Q       How much weight have you lost?

A        14 pounds.  And that’s after gaining back about 20 pounds already since I last got really sick/fasted. 

Q       How did you prepare for your trip?

A        I applied for a visa and bought my airline ticket 1 month in advance.  That’s pretty much it.  I basically figured everything out after arriving in Kolkata, which was truly the best way since hotels and transportation services in Kolkata are not online and do not accept reservations.

Q       Did you go alone?

A        No, I came with one other friend.  There are many volunteers from many different countries though, so it is easy to make friends after arriving. 

Q       Is there a language barrier?

A        Yes, always.  The poor people in Kolkata don’t speak much English.  Many of the MC sisters and workers don’t either. 

Q       Do you feel useful/wanted?

A        Every day of my 5 months. 

Q       What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen?

A        I think the effects of extreme poverty combined with such a non-western culture make me feel like I see the craziest thing of my life almost every day.  A few memories that really stick out are a people with a rotting, maggot-infested wounds; several dead bodies, one floating face-down in the Ganges; and a birth on a train platform.  

Q       Would you return?

A        Yes, I would love to. 

Q       What are your living conditions like?

A        Compared to my house in Arizona the Kolkata hotels are like dilapidated prison cells but compared to the Indian slums they are like heaven.  I had to get used to brick-hard beds, glassless windows, no A/C or hot water, shared bathrooms, roaches and bed-bugs and mosquitos, and lots of dirt.  In reality it isn’t a big deal though.

Q       Where do you live?

A        I lived in Hotel Maria and Afridi Guest House on Sudder street (the two cheapest places to stay) but eventually in an apartment in the Lansdown area of Kolkata.

Q       Did you ever get robbed?

A        I got pick-pocketed on a train in Delhi but other than that I always felt safe, even walking down sketchy alleys at night alone.

Q       Did you get sick?

A        A lot.  Heat rash, general cold, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, and worms. 

Q       How many volunteers are there?

A        During the monsoon season and cooler months (July – Feb) there are around 100 to 200 at a time, but during the rest of the year there are only about 15 to 40.  It varies every day of course.  Most volunteers stay for a couple weeks at the longest, but there are a few that have been here for years.

Q       Do you have to use public transportation?

A        Every day.  It is unavoidable but really not that bad unless you like being in control.  You can get pretty much anywhere in the city for 5 Rupees (0.08 USD).

Q       What did you bring?

A        A 30 pound pack (45 liters) with a water filter, sleeping bag, mosquito net, a few clothes, trekking boots, and Nook inside.  I didn’t bring a computer, and I didn’t use my sleeping bag or mosquito net.

Q       Are the MC houses beneficial and loving?

A        The houses are amazing.  The love and care is evident as soon as you step through the door.  The situations the beneficiaries come from are not even comparable.  Many people’s lives are transformed in a matter of just a few days.

Q       Did you travel to other parts of India?

A        Only Delhi, Agra (to see the Taj Mahal), and Darjeeling.  I recommend Darjeeling.

Q       Did you have to contact the MC before you arrived?

A        No, you can just show up at the Mother House any day except Thursday at 7 AM to start volunteering.  Every taxi and rickshaw in Kolkata knows where “Mother House” is. 

Q       Are you Catholic?

A        No, I am just “Christian” in general.  You don’t have to be Catholic or Christian to volunteer with the MC.  In fact, it is a great way to learn about Catholicism because it is represented in true form. 

Q       Is there internet available?  

A        Yes, but hardly any wi-fi anywhere.  You can find a few “cyber cafes” that charge around 50 cents an hour for the use of a computer with internet.

Q       What piece of advice would you give someone coming to volunteer with the Missionaries of Charity?

A        Don’t pay any more than 310 Rupees for a taxi to Sudder st from the airport.  Don’t expect to be irreplaceable.  Don’t worry about planning, money, safety, or any of that stuff; if you want to go then you should just go!

Q       What is a typical day like?

A        5:45 – wake up, shower, and walk to Mother House

A        7:00 – Eat breakfast of bananas and chai while meeting other volunteers

A        7:30 – Head out by bus to respective MC house with 2 to 15 other volunteers

A        8:00 – Arrive and begin washing laundry

A        9:00 – Serve snack and tend to individual needs of patients

A        11:00 – Serve lunch and wash dishes

A        12:00 – Go back home via bus, metro, or tuk-tuk

A        12:30 – Eat lunch at a local restaurant

A        13:00 – Nap/Play guitar/read/shower

A        14:30 – Head out to different MC house for afternoon serving session

A        17:00 – Head back home via bus or metro

A        17:30 – Dinner at a local restaurant, maybe shopping at the market or hanging out with friends

A        18:30 – Daily prayer service at Mother House

A        20:30 – Shower

A        21:30 – Bed time 

Pictures from Kolkata

The photogenic city of Kolkata has been my home now for 5 months.  It is a beautiful, impoverished, rich city.  I have grown to love it despite its shortcomings and propensity toward extremes.  Here are a few pictures from my home.  

This man in a slum is standing in front of a small Hindu temple dedicated to the God "Kali", the sovereign deity of Kolkata.  Kali means "Lord of Death".

Howrah Bridge - An icon of the city since the 1970s.  Over 1 million people cross this bridge every day.  You can see some of them if you look close.

A man begging on a sidewalk.  Judging by his clean clothes, trimmed beard, and opportunistic location in a highly traveled area he is no doubt doing much better than most beggars here.  He probably pays a healthy percentage of his income to the local mafia as well as the local police for this coveted spot. 

If you have ever been to Kolkata then there is no doubt this photo will bring back many memories.  Most of them are probably repressed for good reason.  These yellow Ambassadors make up the majority of vehicles in the city.

Our groundskeeper's kid.  He just finished a cookie.

Crows are probably the only sight more ubiquitous than yellow taxis in Kolkata.  The mountains of garbage lying on the streets keep them livelier than their human cohabitants.

Looking for a prospective buyer for his flowers.  Like many things in Kolkata, the flower market is a striking contrast of vibrant beauty in putrid mud.

Tuk-tuks lined up for action outside of Howrah Station - the largest and busiest rail station in all of India.  Notice the colorful city buses in the background - these will take you almost anywhere in the city for 5 rupees (8 cents).

A street child poses for a photo.  She is barefoot but she doesn't let that dampen her smile.

Young adults chatting and hanging out at the riverside walk along the Ganges while ferries navigate through dense humidity further upriver.

Bathing done, everyone takes a rest to contemplate life.  Paradoxically, Kolkata seems to rush at breakneck speed in order to get back and take it slow.

A barefoot man searches for empty plastic bottles along the train tracks.  He can expect to make 2 rupees per kilogram for his hard work (that bag is worth somewhere around 10 cents) 

Fresh veggies at the market down the street.  If there is one thing India takes pride in, it is its produce. 

I was riding in a rickshaw when I took this picture.  Kolkata is one of the last cities in the world to employ rickshaws - there are over 50,000 of them. 

Bailing out their fishing boats under the cover of the ferry walkway.  These boats sometimes serve as home, job, and trasport all in one.

Note:  Most of these pictures were taken by my trusty Panasonic Lumix waterproof camera; however, for a few of them I had the privilege to borrow a friend's Nikon P series.  As always, I did no editing of any kind because, well, I'm just not a photographer.

Brant Copen Loses His Temper

Today Brant Copen lost his temper.  Many of you who know Brant Copen will understand that this could potentially be the beginning of an interesting story.  After all, if he had a nickel for every time he was asked the question, “Do you even get mad?” he would have $1472.  He wouldn’t spend a penny of it on taxis. 

Our tale opens two and a half hours into Brant Copen’s day, but only two minutes into his work day.  He was walking quickly down a sidewalk and casually, without thinking, he let one rip.  His pace instantly slowed and a curious look began to form on his face.  As his gate stopped completely, he shook his hips just to be sure.  Yep, he had just pooped his pants. 

Fast forward six hours to two in the afternoon.  Brant Copen stands resolutely just inside the doorway to the orthopedic ward of a hospital.  He has spent most of his day rushing to get a patient there in time for an appointment which only ended as a chaotic disappointment.  His dripping hair is pasted to his forehead, every item of clothing issoaked completely through by the torrential Indian monsoon, he has yet to eat lunch, and despite a thorough public-bathroom-sink-rinse his shorts smell like chicken curry diarrhea.  From the safety of the archway he scans the road for taxis in order to return the patient back to his home.  One pulls up but refuses to take anything less than 250 INR. 

In order to fully appreciate the next chapter of the story, a short lesson in the history of Brant Copen’s relationship with Kolkata taxis will be necessary.  According to Indian law, all taxis must only use their meter.  The meter measures the distance traveled and produces a correlated price as deemed fair by the law.  The majority of drivers, however, will outright refuse to take a passenger to his requested destination unless they agree beforehand to a much higher price than what the meter would probably show.  Basically almost all taxi drivers cheat people because they can.  This is a never-ending source of frustration to Brant Copen, who is naturally endowed with an acute sense of justice.  Compounding this problem is the habit of drivers to make the assumption that a white person probably doesn’t know what a trip should cost and has an excessive amount of money anyway.  A white person with an ancient hospital patient standing in a downpour, now he should be willing to fork out some serious dough. 

Brant leaves his bag with the patient and runs out into the storm to search for a ride, but the next taxi doesn’t even slow down.  Finally, after a solid half hour a taxi pulls over and cracks its window.  “Kalighat ha?” Brant yells as he jumps in the back seat.  “Yes, no problem!” the driver returns in perfect English through a big white smile.  Brant directs him to where the patient is waiting but before he gets out to help him in, the driver starts his game, “400 rupees, Ok?”  400!  400!?  Brant is absolutely indignant.  He has made this exact trip plenty of times and never once has the meter read more than 40 rupees.  “No!  Forty!  Meter would be four-zero!”  “250!” shouts the driver.  Brant jumps out of the taxi and slams the door as he returns to his patient patient.  The taxi lingers.  Brant hates the thought of giving in but he is desperate.  “OK, fine, 100!” He yells over the pounding rain.  The driver nods and Brant helps the patient into the back seat.  It is slow going due to the age of the man and the fact that he is recovering from a broken hip, but they finally get settled in.  “150.” Says the driver.  Brant literally feels his eyes bulge as the blood rushes to his face.  Nearly at the top of his lungs he screams, “100 max!!  All you taxis try to do is cheat people and it pisses me off!!  You take advantage of an old man in a rain storm?!!  Totally heartless!!  He pounds his fists on the dash of the car and reads the lettering painted in neat white script, “PAY ONLY DISPLAYED FARE!! PAY ONLY DISPLAYED FARE!!”  “Ok, yes, 100 is fine” says the frightened driver.

This story is actually quite embarrassing. Why? Well, other than the more obvious reasons, 50 rupees is only 80 cents in USD. Yelling and screaming and pounding fists over 80 cents. Even if it had been $800 there is no justification for losing one’s temper. Anger is a natural emotion but it should never be allowed to be in control. Responding to perceived injustice with uncontrolled bursts of outrage and hurtful words only adds oppression to oppression,accomplishes nothing, and certainly fails to communicate the love of God. It is a continuation of small things like that that eventually make people question the goodness of life. Basically, it was a terrible representation of who Brant Copen actually is, even if he did have poopy pants. However, it does bring up an important point. Primarily, that it is dangerous but easy to let past abuses accumulate until their sum is unjustly attributed to a single unwary individual, and secondarily that one must always use grace because it is impossible to know where a person’s day has brought them.

Is Poverty Relative?

Ever since leaving the days of my pre-adolescence naivety I have strongly believed that the words “rich” and “poor” were relative.  You are always richer than someone and you are always poorer than someone.  However, my views may have been more accurate when I was a kid. 

I remember when I was young anyone with a two-story house or more than one functional vehicle was placed into the category of “well off” (aka rich) right along with Bill Gates and President Clinton.  Rich people could buy whatever they wanted, go wherever they wanted, and eat as many chips and snickers bars as they chose.  They had no worries in life; they were rich.  While us poor kids envied their Schwinn bicycles and weekly allowance, we also condemned the rich kids to lives of spoiled ingratitude and incapacitating weakness.  If I learned anything at all from the Boxcar Children, it was that poor kids always won the fistfights. 

As I grew older I found that a lot of those people with two-story houses and multiple cars described themselves as poor and placed the magical line of wealth that divided worry-free lives from suffering at some arbitrary level even higher.  I also became aware of a people group referred to as “the homeless” who lived in dumpsters and begged for food.  I corrected my naive world view and concluded that it was all relative.  Even an aerospace engineer had to worry about finances; compared to a CEO who just picked out whatever car he wanted according to his fancy, he could be considered poor.  The same way, even a homeless person begging outside of McDonald’s is rich compared to those impoverished pot-bellied orphans in Africa. 

The World Bank doesn't think like that though.  They place the international poverty level at exactly $1.25 a day.  There is a definite line and if you earn less than that you are poor.  As I began to travel a little bit I started to wonder if maybe it really was that black-and-white after all and I had only believed otherwise because I grew up in such a rich country.  I’d never met anyone who lived on less than $1.25 a day.  I’d never met a poor person in my life until I went to West Africa.  I’m not sure poor people actually exist within the States. Even the poorest homeless person lives on more than $450 a year.  Suddenly it seemed obvious though; there are a certain number of people in the world who are lacking the necessities of life, somebody out there is the poorest person in the world and somebody is the richest and that's where the scale ends.  

Though I was convinced from my travels that there is an actual black-and-white line between rich and poor, I still didn't necessarily agree that that line was $1.25 a day.  After all, $1.25 goes quite a bit further here in India than in the States, at least in some categories.  Recently I came across a definition of poor that came from an actual poor person (not sure why I never thought to ask one before).  “The difference between poor people and rich people is that poor people are hungry.  If you aren't hungry then you’re rich.”  He wasn't talking about being hungry between meals, he was talking about being hungry all the time, from sunrise to sunset, even during and after meals. 

Imagine removing all the unnecessary things from your life.  Your vehicle, your washing machine, your roof and walls, your clothes, your oven, your hose faucet, your health insurance, and your toilet paper.  Just bare survival.  Now imagine that even with all those expenses gone, living barefoot on the sidewalk, you still can’t afford to feed your family or even yourself.  I don’t mean you can’t buy yourself a happy-meal, I mean you can’t afford more than one meager portion of plain rice per day and a small pile of cow dung with which to cook it.  Now imagine you have lived that way for years.  Now you are poor. 

As far as whether it is ‘better’ to be poor or not or whether countries like the US who have far less poor people in them are ‘better’ I am not qualified to say.  I don’t have the ability to experience or even understand all the effects and implications of true poverty; the hopelessness, lack of education, disease, and everything else inferred by being poor.  I can, however, share a small glimpse I had into what it feels like to be hungry, not because I couldn't afford food though, it was only self-imposed. 

About two months ago I did a 5 day fast while, like the poor people around me, still working full time.  It was the longest 5 days of my life.  I became extremely lethargic, unable to focus or think straight, void of all motivation, distant from my surroundings, and by the last day even dangerously ill.  I remember sitting at the bottom of the stairs up to my hotel room trying to work up the will power to climb them, thinking that it surely will have been one of the biggest accomplishments of my life.  At least I had a comfy hotel room to look forward to.  My work isn't even as physically demanding as most of the poor people here in Kolkata, who carry giant loads of goods on their heads or strain against rickshaws all day.  Imagine every day exerting yourself to your physical limits but only eating a single bowl of plain rice; and for years on end!  For billions of people in the world that is just life.

That’s my limited understanding of poverty.  But don’t take my word for it, ask one of the 1,500,000,000 people in the world who experience it every day.  One thing I know they definitely won’t say: it’s all relative.  

First World Problems

Yesterday I spent most of my day sitting on a wooden stool reading a book about Captain Scott’s catastrophic 1910 expedition to Antarctica.  I sat down on the stool at around 9:30 AM and got up at about 2 PM with many breaks between spent talking to Josh, getting water, changing diapers, replacing the dressing on a wound, and serving lunch.  To other people.  Most of my thoughts not taken captive by icebergs, penguins, and impossible turn-of-the-century British phrases revolved around my stomach.  I could easily have eaten my weight in rice and dal from about 10:30 AM on.  I could have also given a fair fighting chance to a similar weight of Chipotle spicy steak burritos dipped in guacamole or Lola’s chicken and waffles smothered in real grade-B maple syrup and hot sauce.  Come to think of it, I probably could have eaten a pile of fingernail clippings and been happy.  Even the frozen seal blubber being fed to the dog teams on page 209 was making me hungry. 

The person sitting (actually it was more of a lying position) next to me was undoubtedly having different thoughts.  We were both in the Kolkata public hospital but for different reasons.  He was there because his femur had been snapped in two by a train and the two giant wounds on his posterior were deep and infected.  He was in constant agonizing pain as he had been for the last two weeks since the accident.  If his thoughts were rational despite his raging fever and emaciated body, he was probably hoping with any hope left in him that his wait for surgery wasn’t in vain.  As it was, the only audible sounds that came out of his mouth were faint, somewhat forced Muslim prayers.  I was there to feed him his lunch, change his diaper and catheter bag, replace the dressing on his wounds, and wait for the big moment when it would be announced whether he had been selected for surgery or not.  Mostly though I just read my book and dreamed about Mom’s sausage and egg breakfast braid.  She wraps it in those flaky Pillsbury croissants so the outside is crispy and buttery but soft and light at the same time.  Heavenly. 

Now to me, sitting on a stool reading a book all day interspersed with a few small tasks doesn’t feel even a little bit important.  It doesn’t feel like mission work and it certainly doesn’t feel like love.  To the young man referred to by me as “the new patient” though, it’s quite literally the difference between life and death.  Without family, friends, or an MC volunteer to fight for his admittance into the hospital, he would already have died on the street.  If he had somehow been admitted but didn’t have anyone to keep the diarrhea out of his wounds, refill his water bottle, and pay his miniscule hospital fees, he would have already died on his public hospital cot.  His short life would have had a lonely and desperate ending.  To him, the bearded white man sitting on the stool reading his digital book might as well be Jesus himself. 

I mostly write this blog to myself.  When you do this kind of thing every day you sometimes forget its significance.  When you spend a morning thinking only of your own stomach and forget to put yourself in the people’s shoes around you it can get a bit discouraging when you are processing your day later on.  Unless you remind yourself that the person you are sitting next to probably feels more loved than they have ever been in their entire life, regardless of how engrossed you are in the study of emperor penguins and how many piping hot, grease dripping, bacon-wrapped lil’ smokies go through your mind.