Alone in the Superstition Wilderness

I was about a mile into Boulder Canyon Trail 103 when it hit me.  The sun was directly in the center of the deep blue sky, I had 3 days worth of camping supplies on my back, and I was already soaked in sweat but I stopped dead in my tracks.  I had 3 days worth of camping supplies - minus a lighter.  Freeze dried food galore and no way to cook it.  I muttered a curse word inside my head.  The first noticeable disadvantage to backpacking alone - not being able to rely on anyone else's memory.  The second - not having anyone to complain to about it. 







"Boulder Canyon Trail 103"



Canyon Lake - Where I started my Trail



Months ago I had decided to spend a few days in the wilderness when I got back to the States in order to process and reflect on my World Race.  I've spent many days, even weeks, in the wilderness but this time was going to be different than any other, this time I was alone.  I wasn't going to any it's-a-wilderness-if-you-pretend-it-is place either, I was going to the biggest, emptiest, most remote wilderness I knew of - the Superstition Mountains of Arizona.  A US government sanctioned wilderness area, the Superstition Wilderness is a maze of cactus, canyons, and peaks a little smaller than the state of Rhode Island, and nobody is allowed in except on foot.  For all I knew, I was the only person within 50 miles.  Six miles in I was watching a perfect sunset from a thousand-foot cliff listening to the eagles' rushing wings as they dove down to the most picturesque desert valley I had ever seen, the memories of my terrible memory nearly forgotten. 



Beautiful Dessert Valley






Some Kind of Bird Nest





After a fitful night of sleep on a popped sleeping pad inside a fallen hammock I was having trouble starting what I had come to do - reflect on and process my year abroad.  I have never been good at alone-time, which is why I never so much as watch a movie by myself, so I decided to read a little bit of Matthew instead.  I happened to start at the beginning of Jesus' ministry where, lo and behold, he spent 40 days fasting in the wilderness.  I was fasting (unintentionally) in the wilderness too!  I imagined Jesus hiking through the desert with his pack on his back, humming to himself and stopping every once in a while to admire a tarantula or an epic view of God's creation.  I bet he prayed a lot, climbed a few sweet boulders, and did some serious processing before he began his three years of ministry.  He probably tried to orient his mind and take an introspective step back to the basics and ask himself, "Why am I doing this, anyway?"  So that is what I asked myself, "Why did I do the World Race anyway?"



Noticed this guy as I set up camp - the biggest tarantula I've ever seen anywhere






Home Sweet Home





Having found a shadier, and more secure, location for my hammock, I reclined with my World Race notebook and browsed through the earlier pages trying to answer my question.  The answers I found were actually somewhat surprising to me and I collected a bulleted list:


Why did I do the World Race?
1. For a new "normal" - looking around for how to be a part of God's work instead of concentrating on myself
2. Because I am the hope for a world that needs Jesus
3. To pursue Jesus' mission - to bring good news to the poor, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to the captives, etc…
4. To become selfless, especially in the small things
5. To grow in boldness and find identity in Jesus
6. To become a disciple, not just a believer


So if those were what I wanted to get out of the last year, was I successful?  Well, after thinking through the year I had to admit that while I was definitely headed in the right direction, it was only a small start.  While I did accomplish some of that due to the monumental characters of Faith that I met along the way and the nature of my work and my purpose, I think my vision started becoming a little bit foggy in the middle of it all.  I think I have a very long way to go before I reach any of those goals and some of them don't even have a conclusion. 






Isn't that neat?





I took a break to do some rock climbing and dip my dusty feet in the creek in order to soak in the melting hot sun before another frigid night overtook me.  Coming back, I read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew.  Let God's  will be done, not yours; store up treasures in Heaven instead of on earth so that your heart is in the Kingdom; don't be anxious about food, water, clothes, or tomorrow for God will provide.  I suddenly felt more clear-headed and settled about not only the World Race, but my upcoming future than I ever had before. 






I actually did end up finding a match in my pack but it wouldn't light 





I prayed a short prayer and wrote it in my journal, "Dear God, Thank you for the World Race; for the people, adventure, learning, growth.  Thank you for the opportunity to share hope and be a light, to proclaim freedom and care for the needy.  Thank you for letting me be a part of what you are doing around the world.  Don't let me lose sight of the kingdom, of the reasons I was on the Race, help me continue to grow as a disciple of yours.  I love you, -Brant



Boulder Canyon - look closely on top of the cliff and you can see giant Saguaro Cactus






Good Night





I took up camp the next day full of energy and optimism.  My year was reviewed and I was ready to tackle my next adventure: G-42 in Spain.  I spoke aloud for the first time in three days, praying for all my friends around the world, and listened to the foreign noise echo in my ears.  Sometimes you have to take a physical journey in order to go on a spiritual journey, and sometimes, in order to process that journey, you have to take another journey; and sometimes it has to be done alone in the Superstition Wilderness.